But Jesus said to them, ‘You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, or be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?’ They replied, ‘We are able.’ Then Jesus said to them, ‘The cup that I drink you will drink; and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized; but to sit at my right hand or at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared.’ (Mark 10: 38-40)

In selecting our priorities, in making our plans, and even in our prayers we often "do not know what you are asking."

There are many Greek words that can be translated as ask. One of the most common is erotao. This is an open question. With erotao the motivation is usually curiosity or clarification or a simple need.

In the passage above Jesus says that James and John do not know what they aiteo: crave or desire. Exploring with an open question is considerably different than asking for a craving to be fulfilled.

James and John come to Jesus focused on their own expectations and ego. This is how I most often come to Jesus. I come to Jesus asking for much, but seldom asking an authentic question. There is usually, as with James and John, a patiently paradoxical reply.

Rarely I come to Jesus with an open question about a fundamental aspect of being. I come without craving a particular response, but seeking a new understanding of reality. That is when the conversation really gets going.